The more you watch rich people these days, the more you wonder how it’s possible they got all that money in the first place, or how they’ve kept it, or how they haven’t just walked through one of their windows chasing a bird. And then the sobering realization that we’ve built a society specifically geared to make sure they keep their money and more, but we’ll leave that drink-a-thon for another time.

Nowhere are the richest the dumbest more than MLB and their owners specifically, and Monday was the perfect day to see that on display.

We’ll start in Chicago, where the White Sox and specifically owner Jerry “I only run this team like I’m dead” Reinsdorf decided now was a good time to leak that the Sox might look for a new home when their lease at Whatever The F*ck Park ends in six years. Maybe he’ll sell (he never will)! Maybe he’ll want a new stadium (he’ll never get it)! Maybe he’ll move to the burbs (see this movie)! Maybe he’ll move to another city (seen that one too)!

Even if we put aside that the Sox already have a sweetheart deal on the Southside already, let’s examine the time that Reinsdorf and his oompa loompas decided to try and get this in the bloodstream. Let me tell you something about how Chicago works when it comes to baseball. A quarter of this city doesn’t even know there’s a second team in town. A quarter to a third of this town knows that the White Sox exist, but assume that 35th St. is just as far south as Springfield and it’s never dawned on them that Comiskey is a place they could actually go easily. There’s a small sliver of baseball fans that visit the Southside twice a year when the Cubs are there. As for the rest, it would be safe to say that at least half, and quite possibly far more, would volunteer to drive the moving trucks to whatever unfortunate berg Reinsdorf has decided to plague with this twisted swamp monster of a baseball club he has created simply to unburden themselves of ever having to care about it again. No team could threaten to move and be met with more of a shrug than the White Sox right now, at least this side of the Coyotes.

Reinsdorf has run this team and fandom into the ground with its lack of ambition and backward administration of the rest. This is a team that has won two playoff games (2020 doesn’t count, shut up) since the World Series winner 18 years ago. It has won the AL Central twice in that time, an AL Central they should lord over financially except for those strange years where the Illitich family gets a wild hair on its ass. The Royals, Tigers, and Guardians have all appeared in a World Series since the Sox have; the Royals and Tigers twice.

This is an area where the Bears, still the clear No. 1 here, can’t get the tax breaks they want to build a stadium village, but the weird club that eats fishheads and lives in the attic is going to squeeze those same breaks out of anyone around here? Good fuckin’ luck.

Over in Baltimore, John Angelos took a break from his months-long quest to figure out how to tie his shoes to whine some more as he attempts to get his own Cobb County on the inner harbor. The Orioles should be the feel-good story of the baseball season, and yet their owner can’t stop crapping on it by loudly bemoaning what a burden it is to have a good baseball team. Angelos didn’t threaten the city of Baltimore so much as cackle at it, dismissing the very notion that he’ll ever pay for a good team with the caveat that he’d have to raise ticket prices to do so.

Except he wouldn’t, because good players tend to make for good teams which tend to make for good attendance, which would mean more money in Angelos’s grubby paws that he didn’t earn or deserve. But Angelos spent his whole interview with the New York Times proving that he spent whatever time in an Economics class throwing pencils at any girl near him.

Angelos basically told every Os fan he’ll never sign any of their young stars, which they have a truck full of, nor will he augment them with any premier free agent. It’s almost as if he wants to run the A’s playbook, smothering any passion for the team to prove that no one wants to come to the park he wants to replace, either in Baltimore or Nashville or Poughkeepsie or wherever else.

The world would not weep if either or both of these gents stepped into an open manhole into the waiting arms of rabid and desperate badgers.

Christian Pulisic scores first goal with AC Milan

Let’s try and cleanse with some Sports is Fun content. Any USMNT fan was certainly of the hope that Christian Pulisic’s move to AC Milan would reinvigorate him and remind us why we got so excited in the first place. We’re 1-for-1 on what is admittedly going to be a much longer journey.

Pulisic had the hockey assist for Milan’s opener against Bologna, and then unleashed this Hadouken from outside the box for his first goal for his new club:

Pulisic, at least for the first little while, is going to have a lot of space to work with as teams will still cheat to Rafael Leao on the other side. Milan accentuated this in their opener by having their right back, Davide Calabria, tuck inside so that Pulisic would have the entire right side to himself. These were the results. Good times for all.

Rafael Leao put on a clinic against Bologna

Speaking of Leao and that match against Bologna, the move at 1:25 of this video that sends the innards of two Bologna defenders into space had me nearly spitting out my drink:

Follow Sam on Twitter @Felsgate and on Bluesky @Felsgate.bsky.social